This is a place where I plan to share posts about marriage, parenting, and family in general. For my first entry, I decided to share a story I wrote a few years ago about my husband, simply because it makes me LOL. Now let me preface this by saying that I find it funny how people use LOL so freely and regularly when whatever they are talking about doesn’t ever really make them LOL. But just so you know, this story really does make me LOL. Hopefully you will find it at least somewhat amusing as well 😉
My husband really cracks me up. He’s just so unassumingly funny. I think that’s what really splits my sides. Most people probably wouldn’t even think he’s that funny, but man, I do! Sometimes he gets me laughing, and I just can’t stop. A chuckle ends up turning into a guffaw. And then my stomach starts hurting and tears start running down my face and I have to lie down so I don’t fall. Then, forget LOL; I’m literally ROFL! That’s when my child gives me the look–that he’s about to pick up the phone and have me committed.
I made some muffins the other day. They were delicious–oatmeal date. I got this great cookbook called 500 Best Muffin Recipes and I’ve been trying lots of different kinds of yummy muffins. But, I digress . . .
Nathan usually loves muffins. I really thought he would be crazy about these because he loves oatmeal and he loves dates. So naturally, he should totally devour an oatmeal date muffin as soon as it hits his plate, right? Wrong. That particular day he didn’t care anything for either oatmeal or dates evidently, because he only picked at his muffin and tore it into pieces. After some time I gave up trying and, not wanting his muffin to go to waste (and hoping that he might come back and eat it later), I picked up all the pieces of his uneaten muffin and put them in a container with the other leftover muffins.
Rex soon came in from mowing and sat down to eat some muffins while I was in the other room playing with Nathan. Later, he tells me, “By the way, I ate that totally mauled muffin that was in there.” I said, “Oh. Well, that was Nathan’s muffin, but you were welcome to it, I guess. I figured you would eat a whole one” And Rex says, “Oh, well I was wondering why that muffin was so mauled. I just thought it came apart for some reason.” I am laughing even as I type this. I don’t know why that struck me as funny, but it really did. In fact, I nearly died laughing. I think part of the reason was that it reminded me of a past incident that was even more hilarious.
Rex and I were eating some kind of meat for dinner. Might have been steak, might have been chicken. I don’t remember because I’ve slept since then. Anyway, as I was eating mine, I ran across a gristly piece that I couldn’t chew up. After working hard on it for some time, I decided that it was futile and I ended up discreetly spitting it out onto the side of my plate. Now, when you’ve been married a good long while, that kind of thing is not that big of a deal–I could have even showed it to Rex and grossed him out with it. But, I didn’t want to make a scene out of it, or even mention it because I think we were in the middle of an important conversation. I try not to spit food out very often anyway because it is gross (even to me), but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.
So, we were talking and enjoying each other’s company at the dinner table, as we usually do, and at one point I looked down to see that the piece of meat that I had spit onto my plate was not there. I looked to see if I had inadvertently gotten it mixed up with the rest of the meat still on my plate, or underneath some vegetable I was working on. Nothing. The piece was just GONE. Disappeared into thin air. This really bothered me because I couldn’t figure out where in the heck a gristly, chewed up piece of meat would just . . . well . . . GO. I finally decided to ask Rex. I’m not sure why I thought he might know ANYTHING about it, but it was such a mystery to me that I just HAD to ask. When there was a brief lull in the conversation, I said, “Hey, I know this is a strange question, but did you just happen to see where that piece of meat that was sitting right there on my plate went? It just disappeared and I can’t find it.” And he said, “Yes–I ate it.” I imagine that the look of horror on my face was a little disturbing and I yelled, “EEEWWWW! I had chewed that piece up and spit it out!” He was a tad bit grossed out, but then said, “Oh well.” with a funny sort of resolve. Then I burst out laughing and laughed until I couldn’t breathe.
So part of my laughter the other day was in remembering how my garbage disposer of a husband ate the chewed up piece of meat. The muffin incident was not nearly as funny (or as gross), but for some reason, it still made me laugh. They say that 100 laughs (I assume that’s 100 ha’s) is equal to 10 minutes of rowing as far as exercise goes, so I have decided that I do not ever need to go to the gym. I just need to hang out with my husband and laugh. I’ve probably already added several years to my life getting such a kick out of Rex. I knew I married him for some reason. 😉